These, for me, are the two most depressing paintings in western history. They were painted by post-impressionist Henry de Toulouse-Lautrec, a man who, due to inbreeding, was born with a genetic disorder that prevented his legs from growing after they were broken. After being so thoroughly mocked for is appearance, he became an alcoholic, which is what eventually caused his institutionalization and death. His only known romantic relations were with prostitutes.
And then he paints something like this which is so beautiful and tender and sentimental. It seems like the couple in bed really loves each other—cares about each other. Wakes up happy to look at each other. And I see that love and passion and I wonder how lonely he must have been. I wonder how he could paint something like this without it breaking his heart.
Maybe they say artists should create what they know, not because its unbelievable when they extend themselves beyond their experiences, but because when they pull it off with such elegance, it’s so damn unbearable to look at. I hate thinking of Lautrec, wondering about the lovers he created and knowing it was beyond his experience. Creating something that he knows is beautiful and knows he’ll never really understand.
If this gets 120,000 notes I will try out for American Idol singing The Krusty Krab Pizza
I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.
For example, you can:
- be in a shampoo commercial
- start a boy band:
- spot some choice booty:
- break into song:
- see some people in frankly offensive outfits:
- attend a metal show:
- listen to some sick jams:
- discover zombieism:
- sample some tasty snacks:
- watch someone get burned bad:
- find something you really like:
- find something you really, really like:
- find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:
- and wonder if you left the stove on:
fairly certain that my physics textbook snapchats are my greatest achievement in life
COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL
- Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
- Marry them and start a family
- Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
- Make them strudel with no icing
- They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
- Take all six packets for yourself
- Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster